If I Produced The Oscars...

Just for fun, I decided to produce this year's Academy Awards. In my estimation, the show's runtime would be about 3.5 hours. Here's a rundown of how I'd run the show...

The 95th ACADEMY AWARDS

Host: Lady Gaga with special guest Elton John

• Opening Number/Montage, etc. (including Lady Gaga spoofing the Nicole Kidman AMC ad, preferably with an appearance by Nicole Kidman)
  
• Host Welcome
  
• AWARD(S): Supporting Actor/Actress - Presented by Ariana DeBose, Troy Kotsur
  
• Best Picture Presentation (1) All Quiet on the Western Front - Presented by Felix Kammerer, Albrecht Schuch, and Daniel Brühl
  

Commercial Break

• AWARD(S): Best Shorts (Animated, Documentary, Live Action) - Presented by Riz Ahmed, Vanessa Bryant
  
• Host Interlude
  
• Best Song Performance (1) “Applause” Sofia Carson
  
• Best Picture Presentation (2) Avatar: The Way of Water - Presented by Sam Worthington, Zoe Saldaña, and Kate Winslet
  

Commercial Break

• Host Interlude
  
• AWARD(S): Best Costume Design/Makeup and Hairstyling - Presented by - Emma Stone
  
• Best Song Performance (2) ‘Naatu Naatu” Rahul Sipligunj and Kaala Bhairava
  

Commercial Break

• Jurassic Park Montage / 30 Year Reunion
  
• AWARD: Best Visual Effects - Presented by Laura Dern, Sam Neill, Jeff Goldblum, BD Wong
  
• Host Interlude
  
• AWARD: Best Production Design - Presented by Timothée Chalamet and Oscar Isaac
  

Commercial Break

• AWARD: Best Cinematography - Presented by Ryan Gosling and Amanda Seyfried
  
• Best Picture Presentation (3) The Banshees of Inisherin - Presented by Colin Farrell and Kerry Condon
  
• AWARD(S): Best Score/Sound - Presented by Trent Reznor, Jon Batiste
  
• Best Song Performance (3) “This Is A Life” - Son Lux, Mitski, David Byrne
  

Commercial Break

• Shakespeare in Love Montage / 25 Year Reunion
  
• AWARD(S): Best Adapted/Original Screenplay - Presented by Gwyneth Paltrow, Judi Dench, Colin Firth
  
• Host Interlude
  
• Governor’s Awards - Presented by David Rudin, Whoopi Goldberg, Ava DuVerney
  
• Best Picture Presentation (4) Elvis - Presented by Tom Hanks, Kodi Smit-McPhee
  

Commercial Break

• Best Song Performance (4) “Hold My Hand” Lady Gaga
  
• AWARD: Best Animated Feature - Lin-Manuel Miranda, Stephanie Beatriz
  
• Best Picture Presentation (5) - Everything Everywhere All At Once Presented by Michelle Yeoh and Jamie Lee Curtis
  

Commercial Break

• Best Song Performance (5) “Lift Me Up” Rihanna
  
• The Exorcist Montage / 50 Year Reunion
  
• AWARD: Best Editing – Presented by Linda Blair, Ellen Burstyn 
  
• Best Picture Presentation (6) The Fabelmans - Presented by Paul Dano and Seth Rogan
  

Commercial Break

• Host Interlude
  
• AWARD: Best Song - Presented by Adele and John Legend
  
• Best Picture Presentation (7) Tár Presented by Cate Blanchett and Noémie Merlant
  
• AWARD: Best Documentary Feature - Presented by Questlove and Jimmy Fallon
  

Commercial Break

• Best Picture Presentation (8) Top Gun: Maverick - Presented by Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, and Miles  Teller
  
• AWARD: Best International Feature - Presented by Bong Joon-Ho, Alfonso Cuarón
  
• In Memoriam - Performance by Billie Eilish
  

Commercial Break

• Host Interlude
  
• Best Picture Presentation (9) Triangle of Sadness Presented by Harris Dickinson, Dolly de Leon, and Woody Harrelson
  
• Terms of Endearment Montage / 40 Year Reunion
  
• AWARD: Best Director - Shirley MacLaine, Jack Nicholson
  

Commercial Break

• AWARD: Best Actor - Presented by Jessica Chastain
  
• Best Picture Presentation (10) Women Talking Presented by Rooney Mara, Claire Foy, and Frances McDormand 
  
• Host Interlude
  
• AWARD: Best Actress - Presented by Will Smith (or Meryl Streep since he's banned)
  

Commercial Break

• AWARD: Best Picture - Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Ben Affleck
  
• Host Goodnight